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Spoons
Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed
that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.
It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and
utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.
Then I looked around saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.
When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"
"Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Andersen
Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis,
they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped
utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per
table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the
number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to
replace it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the
kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now."
I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of
the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the
same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the
waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right
there?"
"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so
observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that
we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know
what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash
our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39
percent."
"After you get it out, how do you put it back?"
"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use
the spoon."
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Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you,
Jesus Christ and the American G. I.
One died for your soul, the other for your freedom
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