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Sometimes people think, or want to think, that they're into things they're really not. Sometimes people say they're into things they're not in order to be appealing to someone. It could just be that oral isn't her thing. It's not for everyone - it may not so much bother her as just be something she has no interest in doing. Is it giving oral, receiving it, or both that are the bother? If you guys are talking about this, what bothers her about it?
Bigger question: does she, in fact, like sex with you?
You're doubting that from her actions that she wants to try things. What's behavior telling you? Is she giving off the "icky!" vibe on the topic of oral? Are you guys doing any other sex play outside the "plain old vanilla"? If you're trying different things, I would expect oral to be in the first set of things to try. You've been with this girl three years - is this an aberration or have you taken three years to get to a frustration point?
And... what does she get out of it? What can you offer to her that might sweeten the deal? I'm not suggesting keeping an accounting ledger of sexual favors, but if a blowjob is your monkey butter, then what would make her like the idea a little more? What's her monkey butter?
All chips down: how big of an issue is this to you? Any other collateral effects of a (potentially) selfish personality aside, is oral sex a dealbreaker for you in a long term relationship? How much of an argument or relationship risk will you go through for a blowjob? I know, a blowjob is a nice 'cherry on top' of many situations, but if it's in the list of things you need to be true for your satisfaction, own that fact. And it you do have to have that in the sex life for you to be satisfied with it, you owe it to a potential spouse to let them know. After all, if it's on your gotta-have list, your spouse will end up doing it, or you'll end up resenting her for not, or you'll have to deal with the question of finding it elsewhere.
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