Hyacinthe

See I see this entirely differently then Shell

You say he does get off anyway so I don't view the physical side of it from his viewpoint - either way he's not going to end up with blue balls so trying to use that as an excuse not to address your turn ons strikes me as quite selfish, very "well it does nothing for me so no". You're going out of your way to try to explain to him that you would like to try some new things and he is shooting you down - he seems only to be concerned with his desires not yours or he would at least try it.

I don't have any advice to give you really about the relationship with him (well I do but after a 2 year commitment you probably won't like it) but do not feel like this is your fault. There is nothing I repeat NOTHING about wanting to do something other then have sex every once and awhile. What you need to find is a partner that cares enough about your pleasure to either do things he might not enjoy as much because he knows you will enjoy it, or a partner who shares your desires - they are out there.

Wanting to be teased, desired, basically wanted is not out of the ordinary and not something you should have to give up if it's important to you. I share that desire, heck most of my fantasies for years have involved that.

If you want some things which you can do by yourself to try to spark up your passion before you see him. You could try vibrating eggs or benwa balls ( be careful to find a joined pair with a retrieval string if you're just starting cause the single glass varieties can get lost and then you need help from a medical professional).

The stimulation of these ( specially the internal weighted ball type things) which can be worn all day and anywhere as long as they're not metal ( work / gym / shopping) might spark off your libido with the prolonged stimulation that because you're in public you can't do anything about. It's your own private little dirty secret.

If you're really daring find a local strip club and work a shift there every now and then - having guys pay to see you naked makes you feel sexy and desired and you'd get paid for getting off.

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"I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken... and the one that could brighten up your day even if she couldnt brighten her own"

"Her emotions were clear waters. You could see the scarring and pockmarks at the bottom of the pool, but it was just a part of her landscape – the consequences of others’ actions in which she claimed no part."