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Originally Posted by luciferase75
Communication is something we've usually been good at. We rarely fight, we get along great (except lately since my mood has been foul) and we like to act silly. Sex is the one thing that we never agreed on, but in the past I have been able to look past it. I'm being sincere when i say the first 5 years of marriage were hell when it came to sex. I was young (21) and impatient, and perpetually horny. I jerked 2-4 times a day, and sometimes more. In case you're wondering, no kids.
I know it could be worse. I try to keep perspective with that. Biology is something that fixates me though. I WANT SEX. If I could chemically castrate myself, I would be seriously tempted. Sex is the one thing that torments me, calls me every day. When some hot thing is walking down the street in tight shorts and ass hanging out, I drool like a dog over bacon. I hate it. I tried to mentally do this for a while, and it worked, but after a few months it came back to the surface. Guess we aren't meant to do that.
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Dude, that's normal. You enjoy sex. But you rarely get sex. Of course you want it all the time. I'm the same way with bacon.
The best thing I ever did was to get out of a sexless relationship. She never wanted sex. Well, guess what. Normal humans are wired to have and want sex. It's a biological thing. If your wife is anything like my ex was, she makes you out to be some foaming at the mouth sex crazed lunatic pseudo-rapist for having the unmitigated temerity to want to make love to her. That's no way to live. I finally figured that out. I hope you do.
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I'm really torn. At this point talking just makes her feel bad, because we've talked so many times. I love her to death, yet I feel like separation is where we're going. I guess it comes down to will I throw away love over biology, or vice versa? I don't know yet.
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Whether people admit it or not, love and biology are the same thing. Love requires both a physical and an emotional component. Love without emotion is an illusion, and love without physicality is a shadow of what it ought to be.
Now, all that said, get off your ass and clean out the litter box, then put it in the downstairs bathroom or something so you don't have to smell it in the computer room.
And quit bitching about not getting a raise. I know you're worth more than you're paid. We all are. But I'm just happy to have a job unlike many of my friends in my industry who are getting fired or furloughed. Once the economy improves (and it will, eventually) you'll have some leverage to either get a raise or a new job.
Besides, if your business has filed for bankruptcy, you're /very/ lucky to still be there. You must be valuable to the organization. They know that and will, if they're smart, reward you appropriately once they can.