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This is interesting since it's a conversation that The_Wife and I have been having for a few months, but with an obvious twist (see signature).
I was 35 when my older son was born. My wife and I had been married 3 years, and up to the point that we got to the hospital, I was still, at my core, very unsure if I was ready to be a parent. Obviously the other stresses on me at the time were very different than the ones you have on you, and I imagine that being that being an unsigned baseball player is very different than being a wholesale broker trying to grow a book of business. I have no idea how to even address those topics, but I can address the first child fear, because it doesn't go away when the topic of a second or third child comes up.
From a different perspective, you are telling the woman you love that she is wrong when she tells you that your family is not complete. That doesn't vary no matter how many kids are already in the picture.
The thing about getting pregnant that I think a lot of folks your ages forget is that it's not automatic. One of the things you should both be prepared for is if it doesn't happen immediately. When you're trying a negative pregnancy test can be devastating. With that in mind, I have a suggestion for you both:
You need to sit down together and talk about this. I'm well aware that this is an old conversation, but what I am suggesting is that you decide on a plan. Ask her what her plans for kids are. Why does she want to start having kids now? How many does she want? You? How far apart? Does she have a time of year when she doesn't want to be pregnant (my wife didn't want to be in her third trimester in the summer or early fall)? Does she plan on going back to work after the baby is born? If she does, what are you going to do about child care? If you do make the pitcher-to-hitter conversion, how long of a shot will you give the minors? If you're playing baseball next spring/summer and she has a newborn, who will help out? If your career takes off, is she going to be ok raising the kid(s) by herself during the season? If your career doesn't take off, when are you going to pull the plug and what will you do afterwards? What do you do if the baby's got problems (keep in mind that not everyone goes home from the hospital with a happy, healthy baby)?
I really think that you two need to get on the same page because it sounds like there has been less discussion and more yelling. Hopefully I'm completely wrong in saying that, and I need to apologize. Just let me know, and I will.
I agree that you maybe you aren't ready to have kids, but for a different reason that I think most people would tell you. I don't think the two of you have your shit together enough for a planned pregnancy. If you're going to plan to have kids, you better get busy planning. That means discussing some of the hard, scary details. I think that the discussion needs to be less about "we need to have a kid right now" and more about "ok, IF we're going to have a kid (and that's a Big IF), how is it going to work from conception to school age?" Have that conversation and I think you'll have a better idea about where your marriage stands.
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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo
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