Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - what is the appeal of texting over talking?

dlish · 06-26-2009, 10:53 AM

came across this article that i thought was pertinant to this discussion. please dont mock me for the magazine...

Quote:

Times You Shouldn?t Text a Guy

Times You Shouldn’t Text a Guy

Firing off too many messages can kill a budding relationship. We tell you when to step away from the mobile.

Casual electronic notes have become a huge part of dating, and experts speculate that text has surpassed actual phone calls between many couples. So it’s no wonder why you can find yourself with an itchy text-messaging trigger finger (or thumbs, rather) when in the throes of new love. But beware: There’s such a thing as too much texting (what you might call TMT). “Overdoing it can freak guys out,” says relationship expert Arlene Krieger, PhD. “They feel pressured into sending an instantaneous response.”

There are several instances where texting can torpedo a relationship before it’s barely gotten off the ground:
After you’re first few dates. It may be tempting to contact a guy after an amazing date, but resist the urge. “Reaching out lessens the thrill of the chase for him,” says psychologist Diana Kirschner, PhD, author of the upcoming book Love in 90 Days.

When you’re drunk. Since phones don’t come with Breathalyzers, it’s up to you to stop yourself from sending a tipsy message - especially one that suggest you two meet up ASAP. “Being too available lets a guy know he has all the leverage,” Krieger says.

When you’re angry. It’s annoying when a guy flakes, but sending a “Why haven’t you called me?!” inquiry makes you look massively insecure. Avoid angry texts once you’re in a relationship too. “When it’s in writing, you can’t easily take it back,” Kirschner says. It’s even smart to ban bitchy humor, which can sound meaner than it is.

When you’re trying to be funny. “When relayed non-verbally, sarcasm and joking can come off as aggressive,” according to Kirschner. A dude could read a message like “OMG, you were out of control last night” literally, which makes you sound pissed when you were actually just fondly remembering his funny behavior.

When you’ve already texted him that day. Once you’re in an ongoing relationship, you may be tempted to rely on texting as a regular form of communication, and there’s nothing wrong with staying in touch that way sometimes. But electronic communication discourages phone conversations and one-on-one time. Also, guys like brief updates, not a blow-by-blow of your life.