Daniel_

My daughter is 9.

The biological mother left when the daughter was 3.

In our house lives me, my wife (step-mother to the infant) and the child, this has been the case since she was 4 1/2.

I am called "Dad" or "Daddy".

My wife is called "Mum" or "Mummy".

The ex is called "J######" (i.e. her name); this was not something we imposed, but the infant adopted it, quite possibly because that is how we refer to the ex (I do not think it healthy to bad mouth the other household infront of the child, but we DO admit when there is tension and try to explain it).

At the ex's house, I am called "Dad" or "Daddy", the boyfriend is called "John", the biological mother is called "Mum" or "Mummy J" and my wife (the step-mother) is called "Mummy D". Interestingly, the ex always tells the infant that everything is rosy and that there is no tension. The infant can see through this, and is quite aware she's being lied to - she asks us why J does it.

At school, she talks about both women as "Mum", "Mother", "Mummy" and allows context to sort it out; much to the consternation of her teachers.

(aside: in a recent homework project she had to write sentences using prefixes. She wrote "My mum has an ex-husband, an ex-boyfriend, and an boyfriend", which made us laugh, but hasn't yet been shown to the subject)

She also in the last year has started to call my wife "Mum" and the ex "J#####" to strangers, teachers, and other authority figures.

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Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
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