Quote:
Originally Posted by djtobia
I am one of those nice guys. The guys that meet an incredible girl, fall fast, and then dont get the girl. It has happened time and time again to me, and I cant get it to stop. I compliment the girl, make her smile, make her laugh, do everything I can to get her to like me, and then she picks someone else. It never fails.
So, can anyone really argue that "nice guys finish last?"
|
Well Dj, I can tell you why this is happening, and why that argument will never be proven. Let's go sentence by sentence.
Quote:
|
The guys that meet an incredible girl, fall fast, and then dont get the girl.
|
The quality you just described, this ability to "fall fast", isn't because you develop feelings for a girl that fast. It's conditioning. I'd say that you probably don't think highly of yourself, and that's a guess because I don't know you, but I'd say it's probable.
What's really happening, assuming again, is that you are "falling in love with the idea" of that girl. All the pre-conceptions and contrived ideals and "facts" you "know" about love, twisted to "fit" this girl. My guess is that you often feel under appreciated, annoyed because of this, and start acting differently within this relationship you've developed. That's one reason why you're losing. Moving on.
Quote:
|
It has happened time and time again to me, and I cant get it to stop. I compliment the girl, make her smile, make her laugh, do everything I can to get her to like me, and then she picks someone else. It never fails.
|
There is a particular couple of words I'd like to highlight. Like this sentence: "do everything I can to get her to like me". Or: "I compliment the girl". Starting with the first, then the latter. People know people; when you try to cheat the system, they can tell. You "molding" yourself to fit the ideal man for this woman, or women, is another form of lying. It comes off as desperate (all lies are) and unattractive. It shows you have no confidence in your abilities or traits.
I compliment the girl, I bet, is actually "I say nice things about her constantly, or at least consistently, hoping she'll notice what kind of guy I am". Those aren't compliments, that is manipulation.
You are "building a persona" which will a) never work, b) leave you stuck personally, and c) fuck with your head. Be yourself. Even if you are the biggest, geekiest, fattest, ugliest, troll without any personality to speak of, it's better to see you be honest about it then try to compensate. Because that's what you're doing.
You're not being nice. You're compensating.