Quote:
Originally Posted by Martian
I don't get the big fuss about oral. I mean, sure it's nice when your lady does her finest Dyson impression on your +1 Staff of Manliness, but it's just one means to an end. There are other ways to get to the same place.
I can't imagine breaking it off with a lady just because she won't spit shine my flagpole.
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HAHAHA... you trying to train me for my SCUBA class? I almost drown coughing up the water I was sipping while reading this.
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Martian, Martian, Martian... oral sex is totally required, bro. Every time. It's like... a progression, ya know? The intro in a great song. It all starts with a look, then a hot kiss... then a grope through clothing while you push your way towards a suitable fuck-surface, then the clothes come off / get pushed aside, you exchange oral sex to ready the machinery, and next thing ya know she's bucking on your +1 War Stud while you're palming the sides of her saddle and chanting like an obscene Gregorian monk. Oral sex is a way to figure out what kinda wrestlin' match I'm getting into: slow and sultry or hard and nasty.
Another plus is that oral sex is a good segue to roll on a condom (think of it as sexual punctuation) which is often a minor mood killer otherwise.