Baraka_Guru

Thank you for your insight, Martian. I always say, insight is better than incite.

I get this question all the time. It is mainly because it is actually quite difficult, especially when it comes to certain materials such as silks, linens, and other delicates. However, the following steps can be applied to any white t-shirt:

1. Remove garment from the injured party, fresh corpse, or cadaver.
2. Inspect closely for any excess gore, and remove carefully, yet promptly.
3. Presoak the garment for 10 minutes in a cold wash of salt water, with a dash of fresh-ground pepper.
4. Go to the grocery store and pick up a bottle of soda water. If there isn't any available in bottles, cans will do. Cans aren't desirable, however, because you usually have to buy 12s or 24s, which is more than you need for your purpose. As long as it's soda water, you're fine. Tonic water won't work because of the sugar content, and Sprite is right out.
5. Now, pick up a few more items before checking out, otherwise you'll look suspicious purchasing soda water and nothing else. I mean, who does that unless you have a bloodied garment? So pick up some chocolate, maybe some beef jerky, some oranges, and maybe a fresh loaf of bread. The key is to distract the cashier away from the soda water. This will help you keep your nerves down as well.
6. Next, wring the salt-water solution out of the garment and proceed to rub soda water directly into the bloodstain using a sponge.
7. Okay, by now you'll realize you have no sponge. Don't panic. Just run back to the grocery store and keep eye contact with the cashier to a minimum. Don't even think about picking up any "cover items," because you'll look stupid having "forgotten" so many items. Just smile and nod, but don't say anything.
8. Once you have rubbed the soda water in thoroughly, take the garment down to your local laundromat because you don't want that stanky thing in your own machines. Be sure to use a bunch of bleach packets from the vending machine.
9. Be discreet, because you'll be washing the garment on its own, right?
10. At all costs, don't leave the machine unattended.

And voila. Your shirt should be sparklie white once again! Just be sure to keep it away from the mess you left in your apartment.

---------- Post added at 04:27 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:25 PM ----------

It's because they had ears. And possibly eyes.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot