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Well, alcohol and porn won't cheat on you. They also won't act like an idiot in front of your mother, whine when you want to hang out with your friends, or get mad when you stay out late.
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"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world."
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
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