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What you really need to do is have the grandparents watch them for a weekend and spend time together.
If I have an aggravating day at work, I sometimes get to the point that any sound makes me cringe. I don't even want "hi, how are you doing?" when I get home, I want to go right to my room, close the door, and put earplugs in. People talking verges on physically painful. I'm realizing in the past week or so that I may have an anxiety disorder after having this combined with strong heart palpitations and severe shortness of breath. So I understand how your wife feels even though it's not the same thing.
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