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To me it doesn't sound like you're putting too much pressure on the girl - it's just that after awhile it becomes a matter of pride and you start wondering what am I doing wrong? what's wrong with me that I can't even get off this guy who obviously cares about me and finds me attractive?
The finger thing and instructional videos sound like an excellent idea - I know that's how I learnt to originally give a blow job - she might also be worried about hurting you - hence the lipping and lack of pressure. As a woman / girl you constantly hear about how sensitive guys are and you become terrified of hurting a partner when you do get to touch him. The hand strengthener sounds good to, you could also try stress balls or suggest she take up some form of keyboard instrument or somewhat addictive computer game (great for hand strength).
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"I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken... and the one that could brighten up your day even if she couldnt brighten her own"
"Her emotions were clear waters. You could see the scarring and pockmarks at the bottom of the pool, but it was just a part of her landscape – the consequences of others’ actions in which she claimed no part."
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