Quote:
Originally Posted by shakran
Well quit. If orgasm is the goal, go hire a hooker 
Sex between loved ones should not always be focused on the orgasm. It will inevitably lead to disappointment and feelings of failure. The tone of your post sounds like you're all but telling her "you are required to make me orgasm." As though you're setting up a "I got you there, now you owe me" situation. Start approaching things from a different direction first off.
Second, it sounds like you require oral pressure sufficient to make a diamond out of coal. That is your issue, not hers. Stop squeezing the crap out of it when you masturbate. Learn to appreciate the lighter touch, and then her lighter touch will be that much better. |
First of all, thank you for replying, and I will try using a lighter touch. I don't know if I'm doing it THAT hard
but certainly the pressure thing is leading to some difficulties.
Second, I guess you're right, but I think for both of us orgasm is a logical endpoint for us when either goes down on the other. I think we both love doing it, but i would be CRUSHED if I licked her for forty minutes and she hadn't orgasmed. Is that my tinted tone right there? Maybe it is, but at least to me right now, it seems like if you're going to give someone oral, and you really like her, and you want to give her pleasure, and you like seeing her in that pleasured state, wouldn't you like her to orgasm?
Does that make sense at all?
I think i've described where I'm coming from, but I don't want to give the impression that she "owes me" at all. It's nothing like that. If anything, I came here because I'm afraid that my desire for a blow job and her current inability to give me a good one will simmer and come in between us and lead to some kind of future problem. I don't want to see something stupid like this messing us up, that's all. And I can't think of a good way to help either of us, so I came here.
ha, and I realize I basically agreed with you and then disagreed with everything you had said, but aren't so many posts about sexual problems? One person is not able to please the other during sex. That leads to relationship problems, doesn't it? Why have sex if you know at the end of it you're just going to be a means for the other person to have fun while you sit there and don't have nearly as much (or none at all)?
Am I approaching this from the wrong angle? It just seems that having an orgasm (for either my girl friend or me) is how we know that the other is having a really good sexual experience. Is that wrong to think that? And when my girlfriend tries to give me a blow job, I LOSE my erection. It slowly goes back to being flaccid. Surely that's really embarrassing to her, no?
Anyway, hopefully something in here is good enough to help you help me, I really need some advice!