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Old 06-02-2009, 04:24 PM   #9 (permalink)
Martian
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Location: Canada
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xerxys View Post
No Dammit, it's not ... I think the laws are just fine like that ...(I hate myself for repeating this as many times as I have) and I did say that in the OP so please, Discuss, rant, rave ... why do you think it's misandry in the case of abortion?
Quote:
Originally Posted by genuinegirly View Post
It's a decision that no outside party should make.

It bothers me that men feel they should have a say in an abortion. (Sorry, Martian)
Pregnancy is not a friendly, easy experience for a woman. It's the woman's body that is affected. The man over-riding a woman's decision is the same as saying the woman is no more than his property.
When it comes to childbirth and child rearing, there's a definite bias within the Western world towards the mother. I don't agree with that. I see no reason why a man should be considered in any way less capable of raising one or more children single-handedly than a woman. Depending on your beliefs, there has been exactly one or no cases at all of a woman spontaneously conceiving a child without masculine involvement. Men are expected to take a hand in birth control, and are expected to help raise the child if the woman decides to carry it to term (again, regardless of the man's wishes). If a guy gets a girl pregnant and doesn't want the kid, the prevailing opinion seems to be 'you should've thought of that before you fucked her.' Why is there a double standard here? Why should it be any different for a woman?

You say, genuinegirly, that the man being able to have a hand in the decision equates to the woman being property. I understand your point about the hardships of pregnancy and childbirth, but I also understand that there's a very real emotional cost to a lot of potential fathers due to this. I wouldn't dream of asking my girlfriend to get an abortion if the unthinkable occurred and she became pregnant, and I'd be very upset if she didn't take my wishes into account when making her decision. Fortunately I already know her stance on that issue and so don't have to worry about it, but I also know personally at least one man who wasn't so fortunate. I know that the loss of what he considered to be his child haunted him for a very long time, and I know that he's a damn good father and would've been a great dad to that kid. That opportunity was taken away from him, and he had no power to stop it.

Nothing about this issue is easy. Pregnancy isn't easy, childbirth isn't easy. Abortions aren't easy either; there's a very real physical and emotional toll on the woman, and often an equal toll on the man. I'm not saying the father should always have the final say in the issue, since every case is different, but I also don't agree with the idea that the father is automatically persona non grata here.
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