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ratbastid · 06-01-2009, 09:34 AM

This issue just hit real close to home for me...

For the last three years I've been a very public figure in a training and development organization. I've put a WHOLE lot of myself into it.

In a conversation I just had with another leader, it was asserted that if my relationship(s) are against the law--even in a technical sense--it's inconsistent with leadership in this organization, at least at the level I'm at.

So I did some research. The only law in North Carolina that addresses adultery was enacted in 1805, and reads in pertinent part: "If any man and woman, not being married to each other, shall lewdly and lasciviously associate, bed and cohabit together, they shall be guilty of a Class 2 misdemeanor."

Stella and I are a man and a woman. We're not married to each other. I'm not going to address the lewdness and laciviousness of it, but for sure we associate, bed, and cohabit together. The fact that lurkette is 100% behind it doesn't figure in. The fact of Stella and lurkette's lewdness and laciviousness together (which is ample) doesn't figure in.

In 2005, a former police dispatcher in a rural NC county was told by her boss that she needed to marry her boyfriend or quit living with him, or find another job--that her employment by the Sheriff's Department was inconsistent with her breaking the law, even "technically". Her lawsuit was upheld by the county federal court, who ruled that the law is unconstitutional. That ruling doesn't apply statewide, though.

In 2007, a bill was submitted to the NC General Assembly to repeal the 1805 law. Every non-married couple living together in North Carolina is breaking this law--an estimated 144,000 of them as of 2007 when the bill was drafted. NC is one of seven states with a law still on the books outlawing cohabitation. The bill notes that the law is rarely enforced, and when it is enforced, it's used in domestic cases by the estranged spouse. That bill has been languishing in committee since last May. Think any state congresspeople really want to be the one voting for adultery?

The opponents of the 2007 repeal bill argue that there is no other law on the books in the state outlawing adultery. Which is true, there isn't. Which means, cheat on your wife in hotels all you want--she can't even use it against you at the divorce. But love somebody and live with them without being married, it's a crime.

I'm really torn up about this. Not that my lifestyle is criminal, but that I may have to quit doing something I love because of it. And it'd be the right thing, too--I can't blame the organization. It's this antique of a law.

06-01-2009, 09:34 AM	#33 (permalink)
ratbastid Darth Papa Location: Yonder	This issue just hit real close to home for me... For the last three years I've been a very public figure in a training and development organization. I've put a WHOLE lot of myself into it. In a conversation I just had with another leader, it was asserted that if my relationship(s) are against the law--even in a technical sense--it's inconsistent with leadership in this organization, at least at the level I'm at. So I did some research. The only law in North Carolina that addresses adultery was enacted in 1805, and reads in pertinent part: "If any man and woman, not being married to each other, shall lewdly and lasciviously associate, bed and cohabit together, they shall be guilty of a Class 2 misdemeanor." Stella and I are a man and a woman. We're not married to each other. I'm not going to address the lewdness and laciviousness of it, but for sure we associate, bed, and cohabit together. The fact that lurkette is 100% behind it doesn't figure in. The fact of Stella and lurkette's lewdness and laciviousness together (which is ample) doesn't figure in. In 2005, a former police dispatcher in a rural NC county was told by her boss that she needed to marry her boyfriend or quit living with him, or find another job--that her employment by the Sheriff's Department was inconsistent with her breaking the law, even "technically". Her lawsuit was upheld by the county federal court, who ruled that the law is unconstitutional. That ruling doesn't apply statewide, though. In 2007, a bill was submitted to the NC General Assembly to repeal the 1805 law. Every non-married couple living together in North Carolina is breaking this law--an estimated 144,000 of them as of 2007 when the bill was drafted. NC is one of seven states with a law still on the books outlawing cohabitation. The bill notes that the law is rarely enforced, and when it is enforced, it's used in domestic cases by the estranged spouse. That bill has been languishing in committee since last May. Think any state congresspeople really want to be the one voting for adultery? The opponents of the 2007 repeal bill argue that there is no other law on the books in the state outlawing adultery. Which is true, there isn't. Which means, cheat on your wife in hotels all you want--she can't even use it against you at the divorce. But love somebody and live with them without being married, it's a crime. I'm really torn up about this. Not that my lifestyle is criminal, but that I may have to quit doing something I love because of it. And it'd be the right thing, too--I can't blame the organization. It's this antique of a law.