Quote:
Man Uses Live Swan to Beat up Victim
A man grabbed a live swan by the neck and used it as a weapon to attack his opponent during an altercation by the bank of a river in Munich. Thankfully, the swan escaped unhurt.
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Animal Cruelty: Man Uses Live Swan to Beat up Victim - SPIEGEL ONLINE - News - International
I'll get us started:
"At first the man thought he was grabbing an ugly duckling, but he soon realized it was an elegant swan. He then proceeded to beat a man with said swan."