Quote:
Originally Posted by Xerxys
... is also inacurate in a sense because what you described right there isn't really a pick up artists at all. I very much doubt anyone with that attitude would get to stick his dick in any hole with half a brain despite any of his PUA Skillz.
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Maybe my perspective is skewed, but PUAs I've met and seen discussing their "art" online range from maliciously misogynistic to outright sociopathic. They fine-tune a set of manipulation skills intended to get you laid.
Quote:
Originally Posted by thespian86
I personally think the idea of "Pick Up Artistry" is a huge step backwards for personal growth. Faking it is never going to be fulfilling; which is really what he is searching for. Purpose; not pussy.
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Did you have confidence the first time you asked someone out? Hell, I still get nervous when I approach someone, but I have to step back and realize that maybe she's looking for the same thing as me, maybe she's not, and just because she's got a different set of parts doesn't change the fact that she's a person, just like me. Once you get used to it and understand that the worst she can do is say "no" (or pepper spray you if you really screw up,) it's not so bad.
Here's an idea for people who aren't used to the singles scene that I actually heard from a guy who went through the PUA stuff and realized he just needed to build some confidence: go to a bar you've never been to before and probably won't be back to with a friend or two, and compete to see how many women you can get to reject you without being an asshole (if you "neg" a woman, I will reach through the Internet and punch you in the dick.) By forcing yourself to expect failure, you remove that doubt and hesitation. Cheesy pickup lines, awkward dancing, whatever it takes. You're out there to have a few drinks, talk to women, and
not get any phone numbers or go home with someone. While you're doing this, notice your body language and mannerisms, and watch women's body language, tone of voice, and reactions to you.
By the end of the night, you should all still be sober enough to drive, have some funny stories to tell on the ride home, and no matter how hard you try to screw up, you're probably going to have run into a few who saw through the goofing off, thought you were funny, and gave you a number. Which reminds me, if you get a woman's number, don't play the stupid "how many days should I wait?" game, tell her "I'll call you at x time on x day," and actually do it. Proving that you're not a flake on the first few dates will improve her perception of you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FlatLand Flyer
Oh, and you guys are right. I do have a very low self-esteem and big fear of rejection. two things really suck. I might get some self-esteem if I don't get rejected, but then again I might get rejected because I have such low self-esteem.
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The rejection game will help you immesurably.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FlatLand Flyer
To be totally honest, both.
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If you're just looking to get some, there are dozens of women at any bar or club looking for the same thing.