Quote:
Originally Posted by carrot glace
suck at being normal, every once in a while, i tell a bad joke that starts bad and ends even worse, leaving nothing but weirdness
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I'm not alone
I suck by beeing to0 aware of peoples feelings - constantly adapting to how I believe would suit the other people.
I suck at giving unbiased...well...everything. My brain applies a "what do I think the recipient would have a non-negative reaction to" filter to most of the things I say. I'm getting better at this - but having, and voicing my own, unbiased, opinion is so damn hard.
On the flip-side, I also apply the "What is the real message, and what is just coloured by the other persons state or situation".
Example:
You yell at me "You fucker! How could you be so stupid! You didn't tell me the car was allmost out of gas! Now I have to wait for someone to help me and I'm late for an important meeting. Thank you asshole!
I "hear": "Please remember to check the fuel gauge when you have been using the car.".
The rest is just caused by the anger/frustration of you beeing late, not paying enough attention (otherwise you would have refueled) and your lack of planning (if something is important, allways plan for something unexpected).
Nice for me - unbelieveably frustrating for the one being "filtered" , who's getting a level-headed reply.
I blame my teacher who taught us about Transaction Analysis for this filtering, although it's a good thing most of the time.