OK, I'll try to put it like this, if it's a made up personality then what does school do to you? Army? College? Church? Essentially any place that influences what your social senses will turn out like.
What makes people who are successful with women successful and what makes the loosers, loosers?
It's about changing who you are. How did cromps put it, copmplacency is the equivalent emotional masturbation?
**chuckles** I have things that make me happy but god forbid I remain the same for the rest of my life.