Quote:
Originally Posted by Seaver
Amen.
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Hallelujah! The Father, and the Son, and the Grow-The-Fuck-Up. Now and forever.
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Yeah, I get so sick of the game people play in the bedroom with orgasms. Like it's an account balance, some notch on a bedpost contest, maybe crotch wampum. People can get so uncomfortable with sex acts because they physical process doesn't fit with social niceties 100% of the time.
Examples:
A: Asshole who "gets his" and rolls over for post-coitus, don't-touch-me nap. Quota? They don't know how to spell quota.
B: Bitchy fucks-like-a-dead-fish woman who complains about not "getting hers" when she doesn't offer instruction via demonstration, feedback, or altering moan volume. She's keeping track of all the times she "puts out" and doesn't get "paid up."
C: Cowering idiot who masturbates before sex, slams his dick in a car door to numb it up, or continues pumping feverishly after orgasm to appease some sense What's Right For His Woman. Sex is a chore. Words like "failure" come into play.
Point: Sorry, ladies... if biology had wanted you to come on time, every time... you woulda been built different. Perhaps your anatomy was designed to make climax require effort for a reason? That's biology for ya. But if you're equipped such that you come when a cool breeze blows by your thighs? Quit complaining, quit questioning, quit keeping track and enjoy it fully. Your partner will be thrilled that you're a freak... that good kind of freak.
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Orgasm quota rant:
Fuck all that jive, people. See, I had this really nice horny girlfriend once who literally couldn't get off from intercourse (oral sex did her in quick, though). Ever. And boy did we try. Positions, toys, lube, no lube, gentle, rough, alternative love canal, hot, cold, mayo, mustard...
you name it. I mean, I stuffed things in there that they don't even have porno titles for yet. And no luck. Both of us were frustrated but came to accept it. She said it was fine... she came from oral like "a frog in a sock" and that she enjoyed intercourse simply because of how it felt, climax aside. She enjoyed pleasing me and did a great job of it. Whew, her hot pocket coulda turned Kingsford into a princess cut. But yeah, intercourse: she liked the journey, even if she never got to the destination.
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Disclaimer: This has been a general rant, since I haven't actually had sex since around the time that Kurt Cobain decided to suck-start a 20 gauge. Turns out I've got game with the ladies like Michael Jordan has baseball skills. I disavow any knowledge of Crompsin Coitus between June 2001 and May 2010.