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Originally Posted by punkmusicfan21
I just assume things here aren't loaded; that would be a little silly.
It's far more complex then that simple thing I just typed out but it's an issue of perception vs. distinction. Very simply put:
every person has what we'll call a stock character; the person they are everyday that they know every facet of. That stock character isn't you so much as it is a mask; a simple set of generalizations disguised as life rules which have been built upon for most of your life (that is more complicated but that the simple explanation). Most people do not recognize that they have two natural personalities: themselves (let's say The Actor) and the stock character (the part the actor is playing). So they are convinced that their process (voice in their head which isn't you as it's independent to you; for instance, try to stop it from going) is actually them (see: lack of confidence, waffling, fear, etc)
The Stock Character lives in a world of personal truths. Opinions as fact, if you will. In this philosophy you accept that truth is independent of your will. So the difference between personal truth and truth would be similar to this: "My mom didn't make supper tonight, what a bitch" with 'My mom didn't make supper' being the truth (a factual event that took place) and 'what a bitch' is the personal truth. We are animals of language and the two are often confused. The problem with personal truth is that it's fictitious and unwarranted.
So, skipping a bit in the middle, perception is more personal truth then distinction, which we could say is independent truth. When you distinguish (ie: recognize the truth of the situation) your stock character (which is what I'm suggesting the OP do) you leave yourself open to growth.
So yes, accepting equates natural growth. not contrived growth or fictitious growth (see: "last time I dated a shy girl, and she said "---" I got laid, which means I'm getting somewhere" OR "I need to be a nicer guy; that will get me what i want"). The problem being what you want is as simple as "this makes me happy" and "this makes me unhappy" and no self-enforced regiment can change that.
I hope that's not confusing and kind of answers your question. it's a very complex life philosophy. Essentially it adds up to "being present to life; not filtering but accepting and growing".
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Dude this is freakin' Awesome, thanks ....
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Originally Posted by FlatLand Flyer
Pickup. Is this a book or just trial and error stuff? ...
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Pickup can be trial and error or you can refine the skills spread by various aficionados who have written the books on it.
MSD may frown upon such behavior but even he agrees that once you get past the stage of trying to look like a stud and actually become far more confident, you develop a tendency to make better friends, girls and guys ... all round health.
Pickup is wrongly titled because it centers on the male slut. But those (all of them) who have perfected the skill, grew out of that stage.