I drive from Boston to Western Kansas several times a year. I've become acquainted with all of these drivers. Let me introduce them to you.
Amblin' Alfred (who just ambles along at 50mph when everyone else is going 70mph+
Blinker Bernese (blink, blink, blink,blink, blink, blink, ....)
Cell phone Cindy
Driving lights Durwood (buddy of high beam Hank)
Extrawide turn Edna, who swings her Durango halfway into the left lane before making a right turn.
Fart muffler Frank (hate those raspberry mufflers)
G-force Georgette (takes the 35mph exit at 65mph)
High beam Hank (buddy of Driving lights Durwood)
I must have three hands Isabel (cell phone in one hand, cigarette in one hand, steering wheel in one hand)
Jalopy Jolene -- unsafe at any speed. Sister of Temp spare Tammy.
Kolache Karen (enjoying that pastry at 80mph)
Left lane Lanny (we all know who he is)
Middle lane Mildred (cousin of Amblin' Alfred, sister of Left lane Lanny -- but she never leaves the middle lane)
Monster truck Maurice
No mirrors Norval
Oblivious Oprah
Puppy loving Paula, who can't stand the anxiety of being separated from her dog, so she drives around with the dog in her lap, even if it's a St. Bernard.
Quagmire Quentin, who pulls his monster truck from muddy dirt road onto the highway, thereby flinging shoebox size chunks of mud onto your windshield
Raised suspension Ralphie (whose headlights shine downward into my rearview mirror) Brother of Quagie Quentin.
SubWoofer Simms (rattling my fillings from 3 lanes over)
Temp spare Tammy (driving along in her Dodge Neon with the donut spare tire -- at 80mph)
Ultracautious Umberto, who, when encountering a pedestrian in a crosswalk or parking lot, will come to a complete stop about forty feet away.
Vacillating Victor (his car keeps wandering back and forth from one lane to the other -- cousin of Weavin' Willie)
Weavin' Willie (in heavy traffic Willie is constitutionally incapable of staying in the same lane for more than one minute)
X
Yellow light Yehudi (who thinks a yellow light means speed up, even if you're in front of him trying to stop)
Zoom-up Zane (who drives up to your tailpipe at 80mph when you're stuck crawling along behind an eighteen wheeler at 55.
Lindy
On the road again. I-70 in Ohio
Somebody come up with something for X