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This reminds me a little of the breakdown of my first marriage. While nothing quite as bad as the OP, I was quite shattered after it happened. Some of my friends were there to help me pick up the pieces and a few people actually said (at that time) that they never really liked my first wife. Nobody said anything prior to the breakup, but there is nothing better than having friends there to help you pick up the pieces.
I suspect if any of my friends had said "don't marry her - she's no good for you" I would've told them to butt out and that is the position you are in. Your friend has to realise she wants/needs help and it is your call if you want to tell her that her boyfriend is a douchebag. Just remember if you do say something to her, by prepared for her to reject your take on things.
Anyway, I think I'm siding with Cynthetiq on this one. You can't help her until she is ready to be helped, and you may harm your relationship with her if you step in too early...
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