Quote:
Originally Posted by Shaindra
Controlling men almost always graduate to physical abuse. If he isn't hitting her, he's doing something else to punish her when she steps out of line.
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In many cases, it doesn't even come to that. That is to say, it doesn't even need to.
Emotional abuse can have controlling effects that are more profound than what physical abuse could ever accomplish. It programs you. It detaches you from yourself to the extent that you lose your sense of self. Coming out of a long-term emotionally abusive relationship myself, I can tell you the effects are long lasting. The guilt I felt when doing anything for myself remained quite heavy for
years after the relationship ended. Speaking with the opposite sex was the worst trigger.
Even today, I still feel pangs of guilt, and it's been about 9 years since the end of the abuse. I'm still somewhat distanced from my family and some of my friends. I've lost out on far too many potentially rewarding friendships. The rifts that emotional abuse creates can take a really long time to mend, and some of them will last forever.
I'm still working on the deep rift that was torn between me and my very self.
It seems like it was just yesterday when I didn't even think about asking myself, "Who am I?" It wasn't even a consideration. When the relationship crapped out on itself, I was all but completely estranged from myself.
It's hard to explain. All I can say is you can wait out the healing of welts and bruises, but the damage done to your emotional health goes beyond what some could ever comprehend.