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Okay, in my experience (coming up on 14 years with one wife, 2.5 with the other), sex problems are almost always a symptom of something else. It's the first place you see the stress, because we have a lot of attention on it and it's sort of fragile, but it's almost never the SOURCE of the issue.
Honestly? It sounds to me like she's clinically depressed. That can present a lot of ways--being stressed out is one of those ways. For sure the two of you could go to work on this together.
Is it work-related stresss? What does she do for a living? Or is it "around the house" stress?
There's not a lot you can do about work stress except be a generous ear for her to unload her troubles into. "Around the house" stress, it sounds like you're addressing. Her gotcha that even having that dealt with doesn't deal with it makes me think there's something bigger going on.
Stay the course. This is probably not about you.
Also, stop bringing up sex. Every time you mention it, it makes things worse (as you've no doubt noticed). And yes, be prepared for a dry spell.
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