I think your friend unnecessarily takes it to an extreme but I'm a firm believer in the idea that in order for a relationship to be a success it has to take you somewhere - having a good time isn't enough.
That doesn't mean that I take a laundry list of requirements to my relationship every few months but just as I have goals for myself, I surely do have them for my partner and we certainly do have to conform to each others standards.
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Originally Posted by MauiMensch
But now, I want to know what other people -who are in committed relationships- think and do. Do you constantly compare your partner to other people?* Or do you constantly look for ways to appreciate your partner and your unique relationship?
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Five years with the lady and while we don't actively compare ourselves or our relationship to anyone else or their circumstances, we strive toward being constructively critical when it calls for it.
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Originally Posted by Xerxys
You are what you do.
You cannot change others and you spend a lifetime with your SO because you choose them for who they are. You right in the first place about being as happy as possible with what you've got and accepting others.
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Maybe it's just me but I see the two ideas that I've emphasized to be contradictory.
You are what you do. All of the great qualities inside of a person are meaningless to me if they don't translate into actions that positively effect my life. Besides, we all have character flaws, if your SO can't constructively criticize you then who should?
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Originally Posted by Xerxys
Others, people, other people's people, other people's cars, to each their own. Leave them be, you cannot change them. Accept them or don't, but DON'T EVER EVER GET SOMEONE DOWN FOR WHO THEY ARE!!!! I'd loose the friend.
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Try dating an alcoholic or a dope fiend and see if that holds up.