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Old 04-16-2009, 10:37 AM   #100 (permalink)
nikkiana
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Location: Brooklyn, NY
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deltona Couple View Post
I have to respectfully disagree with you there. it is not ALWAYS stemmed with lots of jealousy or problems. Actually in the regular lifestyle, the minority have jealousy issues come up. The key is communication. If either of the parties is uncomfortable with it, then you just don't do it at all. The biggest thing, as I have mentioned before, is that you must communicate, and be able to separate sex, from making love. If you can do that, then you are over the first hurdle in considering the lifestyle.

Marshie, do you mind if I ask what concerns you two are having when discussing it? What jealousy are you concerned about? I would love to be able to help.
Agreed. I'd consider myself poly rather than a swinger (nothing wrong with the swing lifestyle, and I've occasionally done activities which could be considered swinging, but I find I tend to prefer to have more emotionally meaningful relationships rather than just sex) but I think the key in either of the two lifestyles is communication and perhaps also a commitment to self-examination of one's feelings.

I can't speak for the general attitude in the swinger lifestyle, but I know one of the things I've observed in the poly lifestyle is that the attitude toward jealousy seems to be different than that of the general population... In the general population, it seems like jealousy is a negative emotion that needs to be avoided at all costs and is always unhealthy... wheras poly folk tend to see jealousy as something unpleasant, but natural and something that needs to be investigated, the cause found and dealt with so it can be resolved.
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