Hey TFP. I want to share my most recent experience with the Spirit Molecule (aka
DMT), and the profound effect it has had on me. If anyone's not a fan of drugs or hallucinogens, I assume they can be mature and respectful enough to quietly move along before casting judgment or criticisms. Individual freedoms and all that jazz.
Before moving on, I just want to clearly state that DMT isn't a "fun" or party hallucinogen by any means. It can take you through the universe and outside of it - it can enlighten you and give you the answers to the universe, or you can see and feel your mouth as it consumes your head. It's not for cheap thrills. Also, always research anything you add to your body, but that goes without saying.
And for the record, DMT = "spice", which is what it's sometimes called in communities where it's popular.
After cleaning up my apartment, I set about preparing the chill-room. Lights were dimmed and incense was lit, then music was put on. Pink Floyd's "Echoes" would be the mood. This trip would be the most rewarding one I've ever experienced, thanks mostly to the music.
Just some quick background: I was in quite a slump emotionally - my depression had re-emerged a couple of months prior, just as it always does. It usually lasts for the better half of a year. I'd destroyed a relationships with a close girl who I really liked (as some of you may or may not remember), money was low, people scarce, family distant... and as an unemployed and starving college student, I had even lost all enthusiasm for studying, and my grades were going to shit (I should say "are", since there's only a month left of class and there's not much that can be done at this point). Needless to say, a lot of things were weighing heavy in my mind.
I loaded ~60mg of DMT between layers of blue lotus petals, and went about consuming the mix. This trip seemed to be more introspective, as the visuals, while amazing, were the weakest I'd experience with the spice thus far. Just as the vocals emerged in "Echoes", I was sent into hyperspace. Nothing made any sense, and I was absorbed into an infinite sea of geometric patterns of red and gold and green. I opened my eyes to see that my room was transformed into patterns of moving polygonal shapes, and directly across from me was an entity projecting from some distant wall. Its presence felt distinctly feminine, though it had no describable shape. It was with this entity that I discussed my life.
We talked about why things were the way they were, and what I'd have to do to change. I talked about how I can't form personal relationship with people, and how I can't bring myself to be social enough to do anything about it. She explained to me how I'm not dependent on anyone anymore, and only I had the power to change my life - no one would offer me the chance to change things. This was especially true because I moved away from my family and friends, but the impact of that fact hadn't really affected me yet. Hearing it from third person really made the situation solid, but this didn't bother me at the time because of how profound that realization was. A lot of personal things were discussed and dissected in such a way that every topic resulted in a philosophically penetrating revelation.
When I came out of the color void, the whale songs in "Echoes" were just ending. All the visuals I experienced during the trip were gone, but the entity was still present, and we carried on the conversation internally. I couldn't feel any emotions, which helped because my thoughts were crystal clear. I could feel the euphoric effects wearing off just as the song was climaxing towards the second set of vocals (in my opinion, this is one of the most profoundly beautiful musical ideas ever expressed). I felt disappointing about the fading state-of-mind, but at the same time the internal character stressed that I was the same person coming out of the DMT void as I was coming into it, and any realizations made during the trip were just as true after the fact. Just as the vocals came back in, I felt a tremendous rush of energy through my body - this was one of the most profoundly happy moments of my life. The timing with the music could not have been more perfect.
After the song was over, all discernible effects from the DMT were gone. I got up and felt totally enlightened in a way I haven't felt in years. My mind felt so clear I didn't know what to make of it. I wanted to go out and be with people - this is something totally opposite my personality. I wanted to crack open my biology textbooks and read them again. I wanted to see my family and friends, not because I was sad or lonely or necessarily longing for them, but because I loved them so much.
One of the things I realized during the trip was that I am overweight. It didn't really bother me until the trip, when I realized that one of my problems was my self-conscienceness stemming from that fact. Since then I've found the enthusiasm to start working out again. I've also become more social and open with people. Since then I've made new friends - people who I'm certain I would have never even spoken to if I hadn't had the experience. I've also found the motivation to start studying again. I've even picked up my violin for the first time in months, and found the music that came out of it ravishing; I've decided to keep it up and return to my former musical status. (Ysaye, watch yourself... here I come again!)
I can say certainly that the depression I had fallen into is totally gone thanks to the Spirit Molecule. How long it will last, I have no idea, but I haven't felt this happy to be simply alive in a good while, and this is weeks after the fact. I believe the drug to be a potent (natural) antidepressant and therapeutic medicine, especially if one is in the right state of mind. Not to mention the fact that DMT is easily extracted from plant sources, costs next to nothing, and completely without side effects or threat of death from overdosing if one is intelligent and/or responsible.
Honestly, one of the main things that interested me to the spice in the first place was its
purported antidepressant properties (with its
tremendously powerful hallucinogenic properties a tiny notch ahead), but after trying it a number of times and experiencing nothing more than interesting visuals, I'd lost hope of it helping me sort out my life. But today I'm a different man. Today I'm alive. And I have the Spirit Molecule to thank.
Finally, on a totally different note, don't tell kids about the drug. They already ruined salvia, a plant with antidepressant and very potent hallucinogenic properties, by posting stupid videos on YouTube, leading to national attention and the mint being banned in several states, including mine. I don't want DMT's sources to be next on the stupid list.
//////////// Anyways, enough about me. Does anyone else in the TFP, or perhaps friends of TFP members, have any experience with DMT?