Quote:
Originally Posted by healer
I feel for people who have changed, but still have their stigma pinned to them by those around them. I can't understand why people do it though. Is it a defense mechanism? Do they fear that the person will 'go back to their old ways' and hurt them again? Is it to make them feel better about themselves?
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Mostly it's so they can continue being right.
And, look, if I've made a real change and other people don't get it, it's NOT their fault. Human nature is: the future is just more of the same of what happened in the past. People are basically resigned and cynical about any real change ever happening. And our attempts to change things generally keep that which we're changing more firmly in place.
So if I'm really altering something, for people to be able to hear that at all, they've first got to hear that the past is over. I've actually got to say to them: look, I see how I've been being, and I see that I'm the source of that. AND I see the impact that has had, and I'm done with all of it. Here's what I'm going to be from now on, and you have my word that I'll be that, AND I request your support in my being that.