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Old 04-02-2009, 08:39 AM   #14 (permalink)
abaya
 
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Location: Iceland
Quote:
Originally Posted by Psycho Dad View Post
There certainly seems to be a lot of this. For those of you not on speaking terms with these family members, do you ever feel the need to reach out to these people? If so what are you finding gets in the way?
I am almost always the type who "feels bad" first and wants to reach and let the healing begin, etc etc. But with the particular aunt I mention, her toxic nature is such that when anyone reaches out to her, within a short time she is back to biting that hand off and grabbing for more to chew on. As I said, I have stopped allowing myself to cultivate compassion for these kinds of people. She has made these decisions, and she will go to her grave with the consequences of them.

The only thing that might change my approach is if I were to find out that she is truly mentally ill, and is willing to seek out help. I have my suspicions that she has bipolar disorder, but in her pride/ego, she has never been willing to even consider the idea, let alone seek out help. And that also makes the difference for me, in being willing to stick my hand out to the porcupine again.
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