Quote:
Originally Posted by little_tippler
That's pretty sad Psycho Dad.
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It may seem sad, but I never was sad about it. I have to take care of dad who outlived my brother by the way. When the funeral home called and wanted to know if I wanted my brother's ashes (I think they wanted paid and could get more from a family member than what the state was going to offer) dad was just getting over a surgery and a stay in the hospital followed by physical therapy. I had bigger things to worry about.
That also left it up to me to tell dad that my brother had died and that he had already been cremated. On the one hand I didn't want to stress an old man any more than he was. But on the other he likely did want to know. I opted with telling him and was surprised that he was not much more emotional than I was over it. Apparently my brother and father's relationship was more strained than I had realized.
Another effect from the relationship with my brother was that I never formed relationships with my nephews. Although I think a fair amount of the fault for that is my brother never had good relationships with then either. I never held their father against them, but as they were never around, I never made any connections with them either.
While I can't say I wish I would have done more to help fix these relationship problems, I do suspect that a great many people go to the grave without one or both parties wishing they could have swallowed some pride and made amends.