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I suck up by doing a fucking great job, all the time. My boss knows it. I know he knows it. I know if I wanted to leave he'd offer to pay me more so I'd stay, though I'm not sure how far he'd go. He once told me if I decided to leave he'd still want me to step in freelance. Shitty side of it is, even so, he's not usually keen to offer any extras or pay rises. I have to wrench everything out of him...but I know it's not that he doesn't value me, he's just cheap. Which I hate. I'm looking...but I know I'm not in such a bad place overall.
Not sure I would suck up if I felt I had to. I'd rather be somewhere where people recognize my dedication to the job, which is something I pride myself on. I am not one to let others step on me, so it would be hard for me to be somewhere where someone above me was constantly challenging me, just for the hell of it. There would be sparks!
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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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