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mixedmedia · 03-05-2009, 03:40 PM

I can't believe I am writing this thread, but I need a little advice. I'm not going to write this out in a paragraph, rather will just relay the facts that may be relevant.

Tomorrow night I am meeting someone for drinks.

He is a guy.

Someone I knew when I was still married.

...actually, I was sometimes his boss - meaning he worked as a freelancer for the same company I did and sometimes would come and work for me in my department....this was about 8-9 years ago.

We always got along - chatting about art and movies and stuff.

I think maybe he liked me, but I was married and there was never any flirtation or anything. (there still is no flirtation)

I hooked up with him again recently on facebook and at the time, I was in a relationship with someone else, but we spoke casually of getting together sometime to catch up.

We haven't discussed it, but it's pretty obvious that my recent relationship ended because I have discussed it with friends openly on facebook.

We started firming up plans to get together before I mentioned the break-up on facebook (so there is no opportunism on his part).

So, we are meeting downtown tomorrow night to do a little bar-hopping. I am bringing my camera because I want to take pictures down there at night.

I see this as both a get-together with a friend and a photo expedition - not as a date.

I really don't want to have the 'this isn't a date' conversation. No. 1 it's crass. No. 2 it's presumptive. I just want to hang out, drink, converse, wander around downtown and take pictures.

But, my question is: Is it wrong for me to not make that clear? Is it 'leading him on' if I don't explicitly say, 'this isn't a date, dude'?

I guess what I'm wanting is a guy's perspective. Specifically older guys, because the two of us are in our 40's. I'm just really ignorant of these things for someone of my age, lol.

03-05-2009, 03:40 PM	#1 (permalink)
mixedmedia has all her shots. Location: Florida	Do I have to say it isn't a date? I can't believe I am writing this thread, but I need a little advice. I'm not going to write this out in a paragraph, rather will just relay the facts that may be relevant. Tomorrow night I am meeting someone for drinks. He is a guy. Someone I knew when I was still married. ...actually, I was sometimes his boss - meaning he worked as a freelancer for the same company I did and sometimes would come and work for me in my department....this was about 8-9 years ago. We always got along - chatting about art and movies and stuff. I think maybe he liked me, but I was married and there was never any flirtation or anything. (there still is no flirtation) I hooked up with him again recently on facebook and at the time, I was in a relationship with someone else, but we spoke casually of getting together sometime to catch up. We haven't discussed it, but it's pretty obvious that my recent relationship ended because I have discussed it with friends openly on facebook. We started firming up plans to get together before I mentioned the break-up on facebook (so there is no opportunism on his part). So, we are meeting downtown tomorrow night to do a little bar-hopping. I am bringing my camera because I want to take pictures down there at night. I see this as both a get-together with a friend and a photo expedition - not as a date. I really don't want to have the 'this isn't a date' conversation. No. 1 it's crass. No. 2 it's presumptive. I just want to hang out, drink, converse, wander around downtown and take pictures. But, my question is: Is it wrong for me to not make that clear? Is it 'leading him on' if I don't explicitly say, 'this isn't a date, dude'? I guess what I'm wanting is a guy's perspective. Specifically older guys, because the two of us are in our 40's. I'm just really ignorant of these things for someone of my age, lol. __________________ Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce Last edited by mixedmedia; 03-05-2009 at 03:45 PM..