Originally Posted by Anonymous Member

First I want to thank you all. Since I posted, I think this thread has gone in a much more productive direction than "ditch this loser, drugs are bad". And I have to apologize, to my girlfriend. That post was an undeserved attack and too abrasive. But understand, this is part of a very long ongoing conversation.

See, my problem is I've heard it all before. I've heard all the stories. I've been to shrinks. They can't help me. I already know what my problem is, I hate working, and as I'm well aware, such is life. There is only one solution to that, and believe it or not I am actually trying to avoid it. I've been on SSRIs and Wellbutrin. Not only do they all have various bad side effects, they basically act by numbing you to life, and quite frankly, I'd rather be dead. Or at least on better drugs.

I have plenty of experience with hydrocodone, oxycodone, hydromorphone, and oxymorphone. I have yet to get addicted. I haven't taken any in over a month, and not for a month before that time. In fact, I didn't even say I intended to do it daily (I don't do or intend to do coke daily either). I just meant I wanted some and intended to take it when work gets especially stressful. Some people smoke weed for stress. I smoke my share of weed too but it doesn't work as a stress reliever for me.

I already explained why I do it. Because it gives me an hour's worth of an energy boost and focus without a jittery crash like from caffeine. It helps me get through my day. And I can always buy more. It's not like I lack for the money. I just realize there are limits. That brings up the idea of maybe I can get a less stressful job with lower pay. Well maybe I will. But then I'll just be depressed over my wasted potential.

Tell me about it! This is precisely why I'm depressed. What are the shrinks going to do about it? Tell me I should be enjoying it? Put me on some weak antidepressants with horrible side effects? No thanks, I've been down that road.

I do! I work 40+ hours a week. I pay all my bills on time. I have perfect credit and very little debt. All I'm saying is I don't think it's such a horrible sin to have a few chemical helpers along the way and I'm tired of being judged and criticized before the fact.