Ok here's the skinny..
People can sit there and say "I only plan on doing a little bit" or "I only plan on doing 1 a day, not 10", but in the end it's all playing with fire. I said the same fucking shit. Said it every goddamn day that I put something up my nose or crushed the pills. "It's no big deal, I'm just in a bad mood" "I need a pick me up" in the end it was all bullshit. So while a person can say they can handle their shit and say they don't "plan" on going crazy with anything.. I'm living proof that even the best of us get caught up in it eventually.
So keep telling yourself that you're ok.. you'll find yourself on the ending of a Requiem movie sooner or later.
Keep saying the doctors don't know what's wrong or the pills don't work.. maybe..just maybe..it's you who doesn't want them to work because you've found a bandaid that suits your needs a little better.
Keep saying you don't want the anti-depressants because they have horrible side effects.. I mean that yayo has much better side effects after all right?
Keep telling yourself you're ok. After all, you're in complete control. Right?