Quote:
Originally Posted by Anonymous Member
I don't want to turn this into a public drama but I must give my side of the story. And I will politely decline to tell you all what % of her monthly income she spends on blow herself. I am not a saint. Judge me if you will.
I take probably 50 mg a day, this is not a lot of coke, this is not even a single line, this is practically coca leaf levels. Some Indian down there probably gets that much cocaine in a day chewing leaves and he doesn't have his woman complaining about it to the tribe. I'll take a gram on one day of the weekend but you're doing it with me.
The vicodin IS for pain, not physical but mental pain. It's definitely not for the come down from the coke, because I'm not sure if everyone's aware, but there IS no come down from <100 mg a day. You don't even get high. Please do not assume I am getting high every day, I am not. It's like caffeine but better, a little energy boost and focus with no jittery crash. I definitely recommend it, if you can handle your shit.
Leave if you must, I am tired of babysitting. Lets see you pay your own rent and bills for once and tell me you're not going to be hating life at some point. |
Sir you have a problem. I know in your head you don't but in reality you do. If you're taking pain killers for mental pain you're doing it wrong. That's like driving down the highway in reverse. You can do it but you really don't get anywhere in the end and the hazards are beyond serious. And your coffee analogy sucks. Coffee doesn't lead to problems like coke and opiates. Or even alcohol for that matter. It's like comparing the flame from a match and blast furnace and saying it's all just fire. Bullshit. Sounds like you're thinking about moving on to heroin, or at least tempted to do so. Seriously, you're in denial and you need to seek help.
And your little power play of "move out and see how you like paying your own way in life" is complete crap. Your relationship is in such trouble that you're likely playing your last card and it's a bullshit card. It's a crappy thing to try to do to someone and you're doing it to someone you care about. Not only that you're doing it and claiming this shit isn't effecting your life. It's just "a little energy boost" that you "definitely recommend." I'll pass on that recommendation. I believe you believe what you're saying... but it's crap.
---------- Post added at 09:19 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:58 AM ----------
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anonymous Member
I don't expect him just to stop or do anything for me, but realize it is affecting how we interact. I guess it is too much to ask and I am just as guilty as he is. I don't know what to say. I love him, but this is destroying everything we are.
I'll have to move into a shelter and get on with my life. I'm breaking my own heart by leaving, but it probably what is best for us both. I want him to be happy, and I just make him so angry lately. If can't keep my mouth shut and keep the peace, I am only making it worse.
I want to help him, but I understand you can only help yourself. I don't want to change him. I just want it to be like it was before.
I guess he's right, I am neurotic.
|
I don't think you're neurotic, I mean you might be. But I don't read anything here that says neurotic. I read this and think you're in an unhealthy relationship and engaging in unhealthy behaviors yourself. Neurotic is a pretty specific term used to describe a personality disorder or some type of imbalance in the brain. You're dealing with a substance abuse/addiction problem and your drug use is clouding an already bad situation. I have no way of knowing but I'd be willing to bet you're using more then you realize. You say you "don't want to change him- "I just want it to be like it was before." Well the reality is it isn't like it was and likely never will. Certainly not while you're both using. You said it well when you wrote "I love him, but this is destroying everything we are." If you love him leave. Get yourself in a shelter and get some help. I've seen couples reunite from shit like this but right now you're right and this is destroying everything you were.
You're in a storm and it's likely only to get worse. Seek shelter. Get out, seek help... be honest with yourself.