Quote:
Originally Posted by Cynthetiq
I'd have to call you a shitty friend then. Seriously, why should my SO detract from my friendships? Shouldn't my friends enhance the relationship by wanting to spend time together meeting and enjoying everyone as a groups?
Maybe your men friends aren't honorable at the heart of things. Thinking they are either being the nice guy and hoping one day you'll wake up to that fact they have unrequited love for you.
Maybe your men friends want to bang you like a screen door in a hurricane and are just waiting for the opportunity for you to drop your panties for them.
Or maybe these male friends are truly friends, enjoying your company and time together.
If it is the latter, why would you be a bad friend and just ditch someone who hasn't done anything wrong in the friendship.
I'd have to wonder about myself what kind of friend I was being if I was just going to make a conscious decision to stop hanging out with my friends. Note there is a difference if you find yourself busy and just don't have time for them. But to make a conscious decision? That's a shitty friend I'd be and I don't deserve ANY friends if that is how I'd treat them.
I have many lady friends still. I see some of them from time to time. My wife sometimes even joins us. Heck, my guy friends, my wife hangs out with from time to time without me and has her own relationships with them that have nothing to do with me.
This is all based on trusting the other individual.
Why should you pay for his baggage of a previous cheating woman? This isn't fair to you.
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There is much truth in this post.
When you go into a relationship with trust issues and refuse to listen to everyone else who is telling you not to do it, you're just begging for trouble. Now you're talking about ditching all your friends for it (or at least the male ones) in addition, so when the relationship ends badly, as we all think it will, you'll be friendless AND heart broken.
I can see this whole issue from the perspective of a deployed US Marine AND from a long distance relationship sense. Sue, on this board, was with me all through my last deployment to Iraq, and before then, she lived in FL, while i was in CO. I can say with 100% honesty that i never once wondered what she was doing, who she was with, nor did i ever want her to not hang out with a certain type (or sex) of person. Know why? Cause i trusted her. I knew beyond all doubt she wasn't out sleeping around, especially with her male friends because she wanted ME and not them. On the other side of that, she's also never questioned me, or my friends. Hell, i've even texted her from the nudie bar, called her whilst stumbling drunk after getting kicked out of a non-nudie bar, and all kinds of other stuff. She knows i'm not out at these places picking up random girls because she knows i want HER. That's what a real relationship should be like... not about manipulation and control.
You are putting yourself up for a world of hurt. The VERY first time he asked you not to hang out with other men, even if they were your friends before you met him, you should have told him to fuck off. Now, since he's supposedly cut off all his female contacts "out of respect for you," you should once again tell him to fuck off for trying to manipulate you via guilt trip to do what he wants. If he truly wanted YOU, he wouldn't have a problem with any of your friends unless they were truly destructive to you (like drug addicts, criminals, etc), but he doesn't want you, he wants to control you.