I think it's a consent thing and a procedure thing.
Take most shooters/FPS. There is an understanding between the protagonist and the antagonist(s) that you are there to fight and shoot at each other. Even when you mow down hundreds, often they are the bad guys. It's also very easy for an in-game shooting to be very impersonal. You can kill someone from hundreds of meters away in a first-person perspective sometimes.
Now say they are not the bad guys, like in Grand Theft Auto. You usually don't spend too long on them. Typically you'll shoot them fast or run them over quickly. I suppose you could if you wanted to, but you are not rewarded for this in the game as you are in Rapeplay. Also it sounds like the level of detail in the rapes is very high.
This discussion could be likened to whether a Vietnam vet is as bad of a person as a serial rapist. Conventional morality would say he is not.
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Warden Gentiles: "It? Perfectly innocent. But I can see how, if our roles were reversed, I might have you beaten with a pillowcase full of batteries."
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