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it's really hard to evaluate the story, pan, because writing erases tone and any number of other situational cues that might enable you--and any of us reading it even more---to make a nuanced response to your question. fact is that you've got two main interpretations of the interaction with your wife in the thread---one which reads it straight, in the way you present it and the other which reads degrees of psychological complexity into her response and so makes of it a reaction to anxiety or to its discharge.
those are the two main options that occurred to me as well as i was reading the story.
thing is that each read would push you in a different direction concerning your take on things.
but reading the story, there's really no way for any of us to *know* even what the conversation was "really like"--we have a pretty clear idea of your reaction to it---but not of the extent to which your reaction is a particular interpretation that comes out of the stress of the situation you found yourself in at work.
so in the end you have to choose how to see this.
noodle is right: phil and charlatan are right: others who have posted are also right insofar as we're all at a remove and responding to the way in which you wrote the story.
this is in no way a criticism of the story either...it's more a word of caution. if you're looking for relationship advice on this basis, you should take all this with a grain of salt. obviously. if you're looking for a vindication of your response to all this, you have it. but if you're looking for something deeper than that, the ball's still in your court.
i wish you well, comrade.
the detox encounter was obviously problematic and resonated with other stuff, so that when you told your wife the story you were probably looking for alot that had as much to do with those circuits within you as with the surface of the story.
but i don't know what to tell you about that.
i'd prefer to know more before exiting wishy-washy ness
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a gramophone its corrugated trumpet silver handle
spinning dog. such faithfulness it hear
it make you sick.
-kamau brathwaite
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