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Old 02-17-2009, 09:08 PM   #1 (permalink)
InTransition951
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Location: Northern CA
pondering about what makes "a nice guy".. is it better if guys stray away from it?

when i think of a nice guy, i think of the kind of guy that would do anything for his girl despite how most guys are nowadays (assholes mostly).

but lately, ive been thinking. do girls really like that nice guy? or is it a total lie perpetuated by society today? i mean i dont have any problems but i for some reason have been pondering about why the saying goes, "nice guys finish last" despite that most girls nowadays want something romantic. so ive been thinking, why do girls like that douchebag that will most likely screw you over than that other guy who would be with her cause he loves her?

doing some research on the internet on internet forums and on sites such as answerbag.com and with some real life situations, nice guys are considered: "boring", shy, stalkerish kinda type in terms of putting her on the pedestal, too nice and friendly, and all that other bs. its such a conundrum to me that i cant figure it all out. but why tho? why do women say they want this bs when they dont want it? i hear one side where they actually mean it while the other side says they are lying and just want the douchebag.

relating to this, i look back at myself in high school and i see myself in the same way as i have described in my earlier paragraph. but now that im a lot older and out of high school and in college, i learned from a lot of mistakes from before. and ill admit, ive only been in one real relationship in which it only lasted a year unfortunately. but now, ive kinda stayed away from all that nice guy crap and im just being myself really. i do notice that i am more social, i got a great sense of humor now which makes a lot more people like me, and i grew a whole lot of confidence in myself from that shy guy from before. but still, should i still incorporate some of that nice guy kinda stuff when i talk to people? ive already started this but, should i be more of an asshole to girls?

i do admit it tho, i do have the potential to be that nice guy who wouldnt get into your pants after a night of drinking. at the same time, i can be somewhat of an asshole (but not too am not too experienced at it). if i really wanted to, i could write a song for that special someone or cover something. i could do all that shit that most hopeless romantics dream about. but if women say they like this but they dont want it, then should i just forget all this kinda stuff? is the 'nice guy aspect' useless nowadays? is this a blessing or a curse that can be erased?

idk but ive been pondering about this subject for a bit now. its such a paradox for me
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