Jimellow

I wouldn't recommend having sex just for the sake of having sex. Furthermore, if you ask a girl you aren't close to if she wants to have sex, and she says yes, that is likely going to say a lot about her character and the type of girl she isn't.

In the majority of your posts you said you were looking for a longer term girl, and I wouldn't stray from that path just in an attempt to lose your virginity.

Also, I would be careful about trying to be something you aren't. If you paint a false picture, the girl will be falling for a false character you've created, and in time, when your true self arises, she very likely will be turned off. It's better to be yourself and be patient than mold yourself into something else entirely just to get a girl.


It's been a said a few times in this thread (and I admittedly haven't read the entire thing thoroughly), but you have to lose the notion that you're ugly. If you enter every social interaction with the presumption that you are ugly or inferior, you are stacking the cards greatly against yourself before you even say a word.

Humans aren't robots. Society and the media try to create the notion that we are ugly and need to spend money on beauty products, buy boob jobs, and generally do whatever we can to increase our attractiveness. I tend to think it's mostly bullshit, very fake, and ultimately results in people buying into being a disingenuous representation of some standard that is unreachable anyway.

In regards to meeting ladies. It can be tricky, but I'd write down the activities you enjoy doing and then seeing if you can go somewhere social to take part in them. If you are in a social situation doing things you genuinely enjoy, and meet someone else there, they're like going to share this interest, and that is a discussion piece. Again, I would recommend just being yourself, and not trying to trick anyone into liking, or being interested in, you.

Also, I think you are making an unfair assumption that there are all these negative qualities associated with you, and that these girls are perfect, thus placing them in another league. Generally, people are more concerned about their own deficiencies than those of others, and it's very true that no one is perfect.

To be blunt, a friend once told me to never put "pussy on a pedestal," and the meaning I took from that is that while it's natural to be attracted to someone, it's best to be realistic and realize they likely have flaws and are self conscious about them, just as much as you are your own. They might seem perfect, but realistically, no one is perfect.

Looking back, I also wouldn't recommend pursuing a potential mate that lives so far away for a first time true romance. It's not good advice to shut doors, but a large amount of distance between the two of you adds a slew of potential issues that go well beyond the normal ones that are likely to occur between people that can easily see each other a few times a week.

It's easy for people to paint a pretty picture of themselves on social sites like MySpace and/or online dating sites, but I feel that meeting a person in reality is the best way to get a read on their character and who they are. If the person lives thousands of miles away, your mind is left to fill in a lot of gaps, and that is going to result in an increased chance of making the person even more amazing and desirable than they would be if you had met them first hand in the flesh.

Lastly, forcing relationships is often a bad idea. Desperation often results in a lowering of standards as a means for settling for something, instead of what you would otherwise; the general mindset being "I don't like being single, and this person isn't that amazing, in fact, I'm not really that attracted to them, but they're someone, and I think I'd prefer a relationship with them more than I would being single."

I tend to prefer being single over in an unfulfilling relationship, though it can be trying at times. Seeing happy couples and watching sitcoms on TV where everyone is happy; a place where relationship struggles are present, but ultimately cute and funny, makes it difficult to face the reality of being single, but I'm of the mindset that being single can be a wonderful thing; unless you truly meet a great partner that enhances your life.

Such people are out there, but you aren't going to find it unless it's natural. Don't force it. Just be patient and try to enter yourself in more social situations where you can meet others with similar interests.

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Desperation is no excuse for lowering one's standards.