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Why do you feel that youre the one to blame for it ending?
To be honest it sounds to me like she was not as committed as you to the whole thing. Maybe she liked having the idea of a relationship without having the real life commitment to actually do it, and the more you pushed to actually meet, she got scared and backed out - and you just blame yourself because you dont have a lot of confidence?
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"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."
The Gospel of Thomas
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