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I have IBS.
I know almost every bathroom personally between here and Charlotte, NC.
Ironically, or someone had a sense of humor, IBS carries a little offspring called "Dumping Syndrome". It means basically that whatever you ate bypasses the normal digestive steps and skips to the end. I have left Christmas parties, been late for everything important and some not so important.
Other than that, I get nice big zits on my chin or nose (still at my age) whenever I want to make an impression.
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Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.
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