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Hyacinthe · 02-03-2009, 03:04 AM

I hate the surprise / stealth date

Guy "So you want to catch a movie on sunday"
Me "Sure"
Guy "Cool, it's a date"

And he means a date date always leaves me thinking

"what? wait I don't want this to be a date I thought you just meant hanging out"

FFS guys if you're going to ask a girl out on a date ask her out on a date don't do this.

+++++

So often these guys that try the stealth approach say how 'nice' they are and how they've done this and this and that for girl A and yet she still doesn't see them as a romantic option. If they were truly nice guys they would be doing it to be nice not in the hopes that some day the girl is going to turn around and realise she's subconciously been in love with them for the past 5 years and never noticed.

If they were a really nice guy they would have accepted from the beginning that there's a chance the girl wouldn't want to date them. All they've suceeded in showing her is that they were only interested in befriending her because they were hoping to get into her pants. That's not nice, it's slimy. You can't attach strings to kindness, even if it wasn't real.

Guys like this need to drop all this entitlement BS. No one owes them anything, especially not a date just because they offered fake friendship. She never asked them to talk to her nicely, she never asked them to listen to her, if she had they would already have been dating.

I have personal issues with this approach because recently a so called 'friend' of mine and his housemate (My SO's best friend) decided to take him aside and tell him that Brian (My 'friend') had been interested in me in a romantic sense. Now this guy never said a word to me about it, never asked me out, never once even implied he was interested. But he, while drunk, thought that he had the right to take my SO aside and tell him that he was a dirty rotten scoundrel for dating me (let's ignore the fact that I jumped him) because he had met me first and he had dibs or some such BS.

I only caught the tale end of the conversation since Brian and John didn't have the guts to bring it up infront of me.

02-03-2009, 03:04 AM	#31 (permalink)
Hyacinthe Psycho Location: Australia	I hate the surprise / stealth date Guy "So you want to catch a movie on sunday" Me "Sure" Guy "Cool, it's a date" And he means a date date always leaves me thinking "what? wait I don't want this to be a date I thought you just meant hanging out" FFS guys if you're going to ask a girl out on a date ask her out on a date don't do this. +++++ So often these guys that try the stealth approach say how 'nice' they are and how they've done this and this and that for girl A and yet she still doesn't see them as a romantic option. If they were truly nice guys they would be doing it to be nice not in the hopes that some day the girl is going to turn around and realise she's subconciously been in love with them for the past 5 years and never noticed. If they were a really nice guy they would have accepted from the beginning that there's a chance the girl wouldn't want to date them. All they've suceeded in showing her is that they were only interested in befriending her because they were hoping to get into her pants. That's not nice, it's slimy. You can't attach strings to kindness, even if it wasn't real. Guys like this need to drop all this entitlement BS. No one owes them anything, especially not a date just because they offered fake friendship. She never asked them to talk to her nicely, she never asked them to listen to her, if she had they would already have been dating. I have personal issues with this approach because recently a so called 'friend' of mine and his housemate (My SO's best friend) decided to take him aside and tell him that Brian (My 'friend') had been interested in me in a romantic sense. Now this guy never said a word to me about it, never asked me out, never once even implied he was interested. But he, while drunk, thought that he had the right to take my SO aside and tell him that he was a dirty rotten scoundrel for dating me (let's ignore the fact that I jumped him) because he had met me first and he had dibs or some such BS. I only caught the tale end of the conversation since Brian and John didn't have the guts to bring it up infront of me. __________________ "I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken... and the one that could brighten up your day even if she couldnt brighten her own" "Her emotions were clear waters. You could see the scarring and pockmarks at the bottom of the pool, but it was just a part of her landscape – the consequences of others’ actions in which she claimed no part."