Quote:
Originally Posted by dippin
I have several female friends and I think most guys here also do. I think what we are all referring to here is that the "friend approach," when guys become friends with a girl because you actually are romantically attracted to her but fear the rejection of actually asking her out, doesnt work. You become neither a true friend nor anything else.
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Well ok, I can understand that, I guess.
Here's a little story from the 'other side' of the 'neither a true friend nor anything else' phenomenon:
There was a guy I was good friends with in high school. I never knew he liked me 'that way.' In fact, I always suspected - because of his appearance and the things he was interested in - that he was gay. We had great times together - we were a trio with one other female friend - and we were involved together in all kinds of reckless and hilarious post-adolescent fiascoes. A couple of years into the friendship, I started seeing another man and this is when I was told (by our mutual friend) that he liked me 'that way' and the friendship ended. I never saw him anymore after that because he resented me for becoming romantically involved with this other man. I think that's an unfortunate story and we both lost because he acted foolishly. To this day I think about him and wonder how things might have been different if he hadn't reacted the way he did. My relationship with the other man was a disaster
and I lost my friend of several years.
The moral of this story being, you can have good friendships with people you are romantically attracted to, but maintaining a true friendship (just like any relationship) means letting go and not putting your own needs first.