Strange Famous

As an adult Ive been in a few scuffles and shoving matches and so on, but never a serious fight since I was 18 or so. A week or so I was walking through the estate that runs up into the street I live in... Its the worst part of my town, but I live in a town with 200,000 people, it isnt exacty Compton

Anyway, Ive been in a very bad mood recently for a number of reasons. I was just going to get something from the shop, and two guys walked past the other way and one of them made a comment I felt was directed at me. I turned round and shoved him in the back and called him a fucking cunt. He came round and we both swung at each other, and I it him pretty hard in the stomach, threw him into a wall, and then punched the other guy three or four times. Then suddenly I thought "oh shit" and ran off when I realised what I'd done.

I didnt think if they had a knife, or what what would happen as a result of beating up or being beaten up by some random kids, I just reacted, I literally just felt like my fists were so heavy and were fizzing with energy and I just went for them. The last time I hit someone in genuine anger I was 18 and it was cos a skinhead shoved my girlfriend into a wall in a bar fight... Im not a thug or a hooligan, but I acted like one. I am kind of scared that I have the potential to just lash out like that for no real reason. Cos I could have been knifed, I could have broken the kids head when I threw him in the wall, shit like that someone can die... I dont know where it came from.

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas