minim

I'm a bisexual woman (albeit a little rusty on the girl-on-girl action). My take on this would be -- yes, oral sex on women is more difficult. There was a great line on Californication a while back where a female character had sex with a woman, and when discussing it afterwards with a friend, she said (paraphrasing) that getting a woman off is like trying to disconnect a bomb. All that complexity, you don't know what's going to work, if you do the wrong thing it could blow up, etc...

I agree with a lot of your points. IME (as a woman and as someone who has slept with women), women need a certain level of concentration to reach orgasm. It's not that we are necessarily more distractable, but if we ARE distracted, it can derail things. Even having to give verbal directions can be a distraction for some of us. This can be a problem to say the least. (In which case - ask for tips before or feedback after, but don't expect coherent sentences during.)

Physically, some women can't go from 0 to 60 with oral sex the way a guy could. There needs to be some level of arousal before you go after the clitoris, or it can be physically uncomfortable.

Also, yes, you do have to be tuned in to her responses. This is true of either gender, but I think it's especially crucial with women (see my point earlier about how it's distracting and counterproductive for some women to try to play sexual traffic cop). And the responses may be more subtle. Men's level of arousal is easier to gauge. With women, listen for differences in breathing, vocalizing, look for changes in muscle tension, etc...

I'm not sure I would agree that there isn't a sure-fire method. For some women, once you figure out what works, it just works. Like, draw a map on the wall and jot down some notes, 'cause you found it and it's not going anywhere. It can be frustrating if a guy seems to figure it out one time, and then the next time, he's obviously taking random guesses as to what to do... seriously... if something works, remember it.

Typically, when a guy is on the way to orgasm, he isn't thrown off by minor changes in stroke, rhythm, etc (IME at least). With women, you pretty much have to provide repetitive stimulation in a consistent rhythm. Slowing down or changing position or throwing in random "let's try this" licks tend to throw a monkey wrench in the works, big time. When you find a technique she is responding to (judging by the nonverbal cues if she's the quiet type) stick with it until she's not.

Regarding working your mouth. A lot of women prefer a softer tongue or whole mouth instead of the rigid pointing tongue sticking out of your mouth. Instead of sticking your tongue out and waggling it, try putting your whole mouth there and moving your head. And while I'm on the sex tips topic, circular motions are often a good bet. And women who like penetration tend to like it during oral as well. All those nerve endings work together, which is why the rabbit vibrators are usually so effective. Every woman is different, but if I were out in the dating world today, I would have my mental bag of tricks ready. I know what I'd try first.

As for guys, in my experience, oral sex on guys is easy, fun, and almost foolproof. If you get your hands in on the action, you can't lose.

It's all good. Just different. Geez, this is a fun topic, I hope more people respond.