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I look forward to an epic diplomatic initiative to inform the rest of the world that we love them and We Care™ about every citizen of the world. I think Obama must act quickly: I would propose a renaming of the Dept. of Defense to the Dept. of Outreach, with the American Psychological Association replacing the Joint Chiefs of Staff. He must fire all the generals and soldiers and replace them with social workers, psychologists and ululating mystics.
He must launch an airlift immediately to drop millions of "We Luv You" packages containing baked goods, viagra and prozac on all the countries upset with us. He must act soon to regain their trust. This nation must shed it's image of Warmongering and Criminal Actions against all of Humanity. From Jan. 20 on, all aircraft carriers must be made into "World Community Outreach Centers", and painted white or pink with a big picture of a smiling Obama on the side, maybe with a caption that says "Hi there, buddies!" These ships must remove all of their weapons of War and Murder. They must replace all of their munitions with pallet-fuls of cash, to be used to make reparations to everyone in the world. They must provide free health care to everyone who needs it, on land or at sea.
I look forward to The New Age, an age when the lion lies down with the lamb, the killer whales renounce mackerel for seaweed, the barn owl abstains from the field mouse. No more lies to start wars with people who are our friends. No more giving Israel munitions to murder innocent Palestinians who only wish to live in Peace. No more warships patrolling the seas, committing acts of piracy and intimidation. No more CIA agents torturing freedom fighters in secret locations. No more spy satellites. No more spreading AIDS and other deadly diseases around the world! No more listening to the likes of Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter and Dick Cheney!!! NO MORE!!!
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