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Originally Posted by spectre
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And now, an off-topic rant about the rest of this thread. I can't even begin to express the level of disappointment I have in this thread right now, but I'm not the least bit surprised. I've been on this site for a long time, at least twice as long as many who like to wax nostalgic about, "the good old days." When the hell did every post become one giant circle-jerk where the entire purpose was for everyone to pounce on the new members who happen to ask a question that doesn't fit into the group-think's narrow world view?
It's these sorts of attack posts on newer members that continue to alienate new members and drive long standing ones away in disgust. You don't agree with the guy, fine, say so, but don't beat and belittle him into the ground and then continue to stomp on him.
That's why I don't bother posting much any more. Seems kind of futile to be the only one who wants to bother to help people while everyone else seems to enjoy ripping them to shreds just to feel better about themselves.
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Wow I don't think I could have expressed a similar feeling any better. I have decreased my posting significantly...mostly due to some of the nasty responses people send. There comes a point where one doesn't want to deal with it. Hopefully the OP won't be too traumatized by this...
However despite the ugliness of certain advice being put out there it does have relevance.
J and I have been going through a similar situation...but when he listened to what I was feeling it improved significantly. There were times where my drive was through the roof and his not so much. Now it's opposite. We're dealing with it. The main problem was him constantly trying to get to the romping part. It made me not even want to kiss him for the fear of him trying to lead it to sex when I wasn't up for it. There are times when we ladies just want to kiss and cuddle without the sex. I know I do. But when the man is trying to get into your pants EVERY time it's a turn off. Let her come to you. That's my advice.
It's like the stock market...let it self regulate!